5 Lies and 1 Truth
by Addictedtobooks
Summary: Sometimes telling and believing a lie is easier than the truth. One-shot.


**Author's Note: **Hi! This is my first time writing for the 100/Bellarke fandom and it's been the first time posting a fic in... probably almost two years? Kind of weird to see me go back, but I've also kind of missed it! That being said, it probably isn't my best work, but I had the idea mulling in my mind at 3 am last night and couldn't just not write it. Let me know what you think, reviews and faves are always appreciated :)!(Note: There is a small canon-divergence for after s2 - instead of Clarke leaving, they end up taking the remaining 100 towards the Sea, like Lincoln suggested.)

**I.** _Forgiveness_

A week had finally passed since the rescue mission at Mount Weather and the remaining 100 were finally starting to feel normal again. Smiles, though small, were starting to be seen on their faces as people reunited with whatever family they had left and they realized, that while they were always going to be in trouble on the Ground, they were at least safer now. There were long term effects of course, but none that could have been avoided. Harper could barely stand passing Wick and Raven's workshop, for fear she'd hear Raven's drill, Jasper and Monty had barely said a word to one another, a rarity that people may have begged for a month ago, and no one even tried to deny the nightmares that had come nightly since.

But Clarke tried to not worry about these things: her people were safe, despite what she'd had to do, and that was all that mattered to her.

Before she could even finish the thought, she knew it was a lie. There was a lot more than just that that mattered to her, but the thing that stuck out to her seemed almost trivial, and selfish at best; something she definitely did not deserve.

Sighing, she lifted her eyes from the bonfire she realized she'd been staring at and looked around their small camp, encompassed by light from the setting sun. Trailing her eyes from table to table, she finally found Jasper, huddled over his small dinner plate that had far too much food left on it. He must have felt her gaze because before she was able to look away he was staring back at her. After a few seconds, where neither of them seemed bothered, she finally saw his glance turn to a glare before he shoved a hefty forkful of food in his mouth. Watching him force himself to eat was almost painful.

"He'll forgive you, y'know... soon, I'd think," Clarke hadn't even noticed Bellamy sit down next to her, poking the fire before them with a small stick, not even glancing over at her to see if she'd understood. He knew she did.

Clarke shook her head, eyes lingering on her friend before turning to the boy next to her, "Nice try. Jasper won't forgive me, not this time... and definitely not anytime soon." She hated as the words left her mouth, but they both knew she was right. "Besides, I'm not looking for his forgiveness," she lied easily, despite thinking about it only moments before. She found the whole idea selfish on her part: she killed Maya, not to mention all the people who helped them and who were innocent. She didn't deserve anyone's forgiveness and didn't blame Jasper for being angry. "He's safe... that's what matters."

Bellamy just stared at her, "Whatever you say, Princess."

After that they only spoke on a safer topic - what was next for their survival as a group - and tended to the fire.

**II. **_Fine _

"Anyone seen Clarke?" Bellamy called out, looking around the makeshift camp their group had made hours before, everyone who'd heard shaking their heads at him. Grumbling incoherently to himself, he ducked back into his tent, grabbed his jacket, and headed to the small medical shelter they'd made.

He hated medical; the small space seeming forever claustrophobic with the amount of people constantly there. As he stepped inside, however, he was surprised to see only Monroe sitting on a small cot-like structure, nursing her ankle.

She looked up at hearing him come in. "Hey, Bellamy," she said easily, "You lookin' for Clarke?"

"Yeah, you okay?" He asked, nodding towards her foot before she could say anything else.

"I will be. Just a sprain... She just left though, Clarke I mean. Said something about wanting to get some seaweed she saw before it got dark."

"Right... Thanks," Bellamy nodded, stepping back out and thinking of all the seaweed they'd scavenged on the way there. He told Miller he was leaving, going to help Clarke for an hour, two tops. Something didn't feel right.

Finding the blonde didn't take long and he was surprised to actually find her kneeling next a small pile of the red seaweed, pulling it apart as she placed it in her bag. "You know we have about six bags of that, right?" He said in way of greeting, bending down on the other side of the pile and helping her pack it up. "Clarke?" He said after a minute of silence. She hadn't even looked up at him.

That was when he noticed something was wrong and she had definitely been crying. Her pale skin was too puffy, red around her eyes, and there were small streaks in the dirt on her face. He stopped, waiting for her to look up at him, and grabbed her wrist gently when she didn't, stopping her from grabbing more seaweed.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asked simply, knowing the answer, but needing to ask regardless. If they were honest with themselves, none of them were okay.

"Fine," she answered, looking up at him finally before pulling her wrist back, "I just want to be prepared. The last thing we need is for us to run out or not find any again."

"You were crying," He knew he shouldn't point it out, but he was getting tired of them lying so easily to one another. They needed each other and he knew she thought it too.

"I said, I'm fine, Bellamy," and even Clarke's surprised at how easily the lie comes, "I just needed some air, away from everyone." For good measure, she wipes the back of her hand across her face, smudging the dirt back into the tear stained streaks and hiding the puffiness with it. "We should head back."

And in silence, they do. Neither of them says another word as a few more tears escape Clarke's eyes. By the time they reach camp, no one could tell she'd been crying at all.

**III. **_Almost _

"We almost there yet, Princess?" They'd been walking for days and Bellamy was cranky enough for all of them. The remaining 100 decided, as a group, that they could no longer stay at the Ark. Too much had happened and they couldn't stand having the adults try and take charge again. Chancellor Griffin didn't like it, but there was really nothing she could do to stop them. So those who wanted to went and those who didn't stayed. The two leaders were surprised at just how many people wanted to come with them, especially after all that had happened.

Clarke stopped, pulling out the map Lincoln and her had made and compared it to what was in front of them. They had a long journey ahead to the sea, where they were to meet Lincoln and a new clan of Grounders, but she noticed everyone staring at her, patiently waiting for her to answer her co-leader.

"Almost," she finally said, pocketing the map before anyone else could get a good look and trekking on. She needed them to focus, to not worry about how much farther ahead they had to go. It was another two days, at least, but she didn't say it.

As she kept going, Bellamy fell into step next to her. "You're a liar," he grumbled quietly, looking down at her. "We're not even closer, are we?"

She just shrugged, "We'll find out."

**IV. **_Scratch_

Clarke was beyond grateful when they had finally made it to the sea and met up with Lincoln and his allies. The Grounders welcomed them with ease and it did not take long for an official alliance to be forged between them. For once, everything felt _good_. Her people were as safe as they had ever been on the ground and many of them enjoyed the company of their new friends. Still, there was much to do now that they had gotten there.

Their days were filled with setting up their new, hopefully long term camp. There was a job for everyone, no matter the time of day or what they were capable of. At least four hunting teams went out a day, followed by scavenger teams, and if one wasn't looking for food they were helping to build sturdier shelters, or cut wood, or help out in medical, where Clarke was busier than she had expected to be. Everyone's injuries seemed to be minor, thankfully - the odd burn, scrape, or bumped head, but with everyone so busy and tired, they were starting to be less careful.

"Keep this here," Clarke instructed the girl sitting in front of her now, holding a cold rag to the side of the girls head where she'd been accidentally whacked when helping build shelters. "When it's not cold anymore let me know. It should help the swelling."

Just then she saw Bellamy enter the medical tent and she told the girl she'd be back soon. "You're back earl-" Clarke stopped when she saw Miller limp in after him, "What happened?"

"Rock slide, we both found that hill Monroe almost fell down the other day... Definitely not as far out as she said it was," Bellamy explained, helping her get Miller down onto a cot. "Some rocks landed pretty hard on his leg and he insisted on walking back."

Clarke rolled her eyes at that, "Of course he did. Let me look at your leg," She instructed, turning back to Miller. She quickly inspected it, noticing he was pretty lucky to only have some deep coloured bruises forming. She handed him one of her makeshift ice-packs (which were really just rags soaked in cold water) and some tea that the Grounders had told her helped with pain.

Once she was done with him, she moved towards Bellamy, who'd taken a seat in one of the empty cots. "What about you? You said you were with him," She noted, eyebrows raised at him. This was the first time in days she'd been able to get a good look at her co-leader. If she was being honest, he looked like shit, and there some fresh scrapes and bruises on his face and arms.

"Couple scrapes, I mostly just followed after him. He got the brunt of it," He shrugged, sipping a cup of water as he nodded towards Miller.

Clarke rolled her eyes, not buying it, "You look like shit, Bellamy."

That got his attention. "You don't look too great yourself, Princess," He grumbled, but couldn't keep the smirk off his face for long, "Honestly, I'm fine. It's just a scratch or two."

But his reassurance that it was nothing didn't stop her from cleaning the small cuts.

**V. **_It'll Be Okay_

Almost two months had passed now since they had joined the Grounders by the sea and Clarke was surprised at how peaceful they were all living. Everyone loved it here and it was hard to believe that they had found a way to happily coexist with the clan.

She was even more shocked by the amount of time it took them to set up a rather impressive camp, alongside the already existing village. They'd built small shelters, enough to fit two or three people in each, and even had what could almost pass as a log cabin for both their food shelter and medical huts. It was far more than they'd ever accomplished at the drop ship and Clarke was overwhelmingly proud of her new family.

Still, no matter how peaceful things were now, it never stopped her nightmares.

They all had them; whether they were nightmares about Mount Weather, the war with the Grounders, or some other horrendous event, all of them had experienced the terrors that kept them awake at night. Clarke used to almost like the nightmares, for the sheer fact that her imagination was never truly able to be as terrifying as what was really happening in her life. But now that everything was peaceful, she dreaded them.

She had almost gotten three straight nights of uneventful sleep, but of course she knew it wouldn't last. Her eyes were wide open as she lied on the pile of blankets and pillows she'd used to make her and Bellamy a make shift bed on their shared floor. When making shelters it was hardly questioned when they decided to bunk together... Just an accepted fact. They were the leaders, it made sense. The fact that they seemed to be the only one's capable of comforting the other may also have been a factor, but she'd never admit it.

Clarke wasn't sure when she had fallen back asleep, but she must have, for the next thing she knew Bellamy was shaking her awake gently.

"Clarke? Wake up," He muttered, already sitting up and nudging her shoulder.

When she finally opened her eyes, she bolted upright, the events of the dream hitting her full force. "Oh, my god," she whispered, reaching up to already feel tears streaked across her face. She was covered in sweat and her breathing was laboured. "Oh, my god," she repeated staring straight ahead as a sob caught in her throat.

Bellamy was quick to react, despite the fact that he too had supposedly been asleep moments before, and, after moving the pillows between them out of the way, pulled her into him and encircled his arms around. "Shhh," he mumbled, and she could only imagine how many times he'd done this with Octavia when they were kids, "You're okay. Nightmare?"

All she could do was nod, at first, and wrap her arms around her own knees, pulling them up to her chest. "Mount Weather," she whispered after a minute, knowing he'd understand. He wrapped his arms tighter around her own and they just sat there in silence for a minute.

The crying was the part Clarke hated. It felt weak of her, and he rarely cried when she comforted him, but he didn't say anything, he just rocked her gently while she practically sobbed into his chest. She'd be disgusted with herself if she weren't so used to this.

"You'll be okay," Bellamy finally whispered, placing his head on top of hers and she couldn't tell who he was trying to convince. "It's all going to be okay."

And, in that moment, it was the lie they both needed to hear and believe in.

**I. **_Stay_

They must have fallen asleep like that, Clarke pressed against his chest and his arms encompassed around her because that was certainly what Bellamy woke up to. He was careful to not wake her as he moved, getting up to get ready for what was supposed to be a day of hunting. Before he could even finish standing though, he felt a hand shoot up to snag his wrist.

"Wait," Her voice made him turn back to the blonde, seeing she wass wide awake and her blue eyes pierced into his.

"What? I have stuff to do, Pri-"

"Please."

Bellamy frowned, he'd never seen Clarke like this before. "What's wrong?"

This has her wide-eyed, which is something he hadn't thought of, and she looks away, "Doesn't matter. Let's just go." She's moving to get up, and he doesn't know how to react except to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Clarke," He says it simply enough, but it makes her stop. "What's wrong?"

And for the first time in so long she doesn't let herself push him away, "I don't want to be alone." It's a simple statement enough, but she hasn't been so honest with herself, let alone him, in a long time, and she can't help but think that it almost feels nice. Nice to be honest, nice to admit that she _needs _him. Sure, they need each other as co-leaders, but they also just need the comfort they bring to one another.

He's encircling his arms around her again so quickly that neither of them really know what to do, except to just sit there like that for a few minutes.

"You won't be," Bellamy finally mumbles into her hair and he knows it's true. That's just how they do things: together.


End file.
